Bumper Stickers
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I brake for no apparent reason.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
No radio - Already stolen.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Born free...Taxed to death.
Monash University.
Cambridge University.
Idontgoto University.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
"The nice thing about standards is that there's so many to choose from."
-- Andrew S. Tannenbaum
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
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